In celebration of Movember, we’ve selected a hairy, but talented team of eleven world-beaters, all hail Moustache United. Managed by Big Phil Scolari, the side has as much hair on the upper lip as it does flair on the pitch. Let us know what you think of the selection and of anyone we’ve missed…
David Seaman: It was a toss-up between Bruce Grobbelaar or David Seaman for GK, but it was Seaman’s shotstopping ability and fantastic mo, not our obsession with childish puns that earned him the position between the sticks for Moustache United.
Gary Neville: The “Neville Tash” is something of an institution. Though occasionally dismissed as pubescent whiskers, G Nev’s committed efforts to growing a mo are only rivalled by his body’s determination not to.
Alexei Lalas: Yes, technically a mo is an island as shouldn’t connect with any other facial hair, but you’ve got to admire Lalas’ fiery beard.
Philippe Albert: Altogether now: Philippe, Philippe Albert, everyone knows his name (to the tune of Rupert the Bear).
Graham Souness: Souness was on the shortlist to become M.U.F.C. manager, but he’s in the midfield to add some grit and a real Magnum PI.
Carlos Valderrama: Colombia’s most capped and most recognisable footballer due to his zany hairdo, but please don’t forget that there was a mo to complete the look at 3 World Cups.
David Beckham: He’s had more looks than his wife has had number ones (behave, we’re talking about the music charts) and no doubt his finest looks have involved him sporting various tashes.
Chris Kamara: Most recently famous for shouting, “It’s unbelievable Jeff” each week on Soccer Saturday. Well, believe it Kammy, you’ve made the team son.
Ian Rush: We’ve been delighted to see that Rushie has kept the shoe-brush despite his football career coming to an end. When he smiles, the whole tash smiles with him.
Jason Lee: Quite possibly more famous for his “Pineapple” haircut than his footballing ability – Lee also sported a fine mo as part of his image.
Rudi Voller: Completing the attacking (and tremendously hairy) line-up is the goal-grabbing German.
UPDATE: The subs bench for Moustache United has been confirmed. Massive thanks to Rob at offthepost for sharing this with us.
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Chris Kamara was a striker, what is he doing at centre half. And where is Ricky Vila, what a legend, even if he did play for a crap team. Roll on Movember!